The Interview Sessions - Iain Lordhunter

The second interview, in what promises to be a lengthy and somewhat embarrassing process, puts the spotlight firmly on Iain Lordhunter. I first met Iain when he played at The Hacienda in SL when I went along to one of his sets and decided to ask for a request. He played it (well, he played the closest he had to it which was totally acceptable) and was very nice about it. I friended him and promptly forgot all about him until sadly, the Hac closed. I then sent Graz to hunt him down and bag him for AAi, for Graz has a nose like a bloodhound and ways of entrapment.

Since then Iain has become a stalwart of the club and of my friends. He was kind enough to give us Ms Becka Blackrain, giftwrapped, which was a fine hour.

What follows is his interview...

How many chucks would a woodchuck cut if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (show your workings out)

I knew this interview would be rigged.  These questions are going to be harder than the last interview aren't they, to make me look stupid?  I don't even know what a damn wood chuck IS, and even if I did, it would depend on whether s/he was chopping the wood for personal use, or for commercial purposes.  Maybe it wanted to set up it's own furniture business? I don't know.....?

(Meri note: It was a form of exercise Iain, obviously... the woodchuck had put on weight over the past year and wanted to do something productive, and yet active. Tsk. Very cute woodchuck video for your education follows.)

If you were a lady, which male in AAi would you most want to have a sexual relationship with and why?

They'd have to have filmstar good looks, great fashion & music sense, be a master emoter, and not be sporting an ugly, ill-fitting freenis.  Which I suppose pretty much describes myself.  Although if I WAS a lady, then I guess my male self wouldn't be available so.....sigh...another case of what might have been:  two shits passing in the night.

(Meri note: Freenis is a term copyrighted by me and available for general use at a very reasonable cost and... the video below is kind of X rated, so don't watch it if you are squeamish.)

No preview, cus bluntly.. it's vile SL Porn

Please explain, in detail (for those who might not know) what is it about your jean cuffs/boots and height differential that causes you a problem?

OK, this is more like it.  Put simply, men's jeans should fit nicely round the waist at the top, and sit naturally over boots or shoes at the bottom.  Before mesh days this was easy, as clothes fit naturally to your shape, and cuff attachments stopped your shoes poking through.  But nowadays, most mesh jeans seem to be either skinny things that give you twig-like legs, which you could drive a bus between, or else they sag like a kid who's filled it's nappy.

There's often an invisible ring around the waist due to the alpha, and not having cuff attachments or resize-ability means boots poke through the denim unless you tuck your trousers into your footwear.  There are many good things about mesh, but this isn't one of them.  If it was a non-mesh issue, people would laugh at it like ill-fitting prim collars or whatever.  But people too readily worship uncritically at the Cult of Mesh.   And as for my height differential issue....I've run out of space, and my blood's boiling enough now as it is.

(Meri note: Wow! I really wanted people to see just how grumpy you are about mesh jeans and it worked!)

Which 007 are you in your head and why?

I think Roger Moore gets a raw deal.  He's always seen as the naff Sean Connery replacement,  favoured by Alan Partridge.  But his were the first Bond movies I saw and I liked his fights with Jaws. He also stars in my fave ever Bond movie, Live & Let Die, with Baron Samedi and the New Orleans voodoo, in which he cements his legendary status by escaping a bask* of crocodiles, using them as a bridge and running across their backs.  That's exactly what I would have done.  I also feel I could do the Moore eyebrow, and would look great in safari shorts.  (* thanks, Wikipedia)

Is size important?

Yes, but in what way depends on the circumstances.  For example, Manimal would sometimes need to turn into an elephant if he required brute strength, but maybe an insect if he wanted to crawl under a locked door.
Although to be honest, he mostly just turned into a falcon or a panther.  So I guess more important than size is speed.  And the ability to fly and see long distances.  As I'm sure any girl will tell you.

(Meri note: Looove this answer!)

Who is sexier, Meri or Thom?

Ahh another unfair question.  I think you change all the answers to Meri anyway before posting, but really what could possibly be sexier than this image:  [13:49] Mericat Ireland: i'm a brain in a jar with a beard.

(Meri note: Hahaha! I would never, ever change the answer to me if someone put Thom, not ever.)

What band does everyone else love and you think is rubbish?

I can't think of any AAi-friendly bands that I'd refuse to play because I hate them so much.  But there are a lot of groups that people rave over, that I think make pleasant-enough indie tunes without me being able to get madly excited about them, the way I am with other bands.  Included in this would be Gaslight Anthem, Teenage Fanclub, Tapes 'n' Tapes, Sugar, Phoenix, The xx, and later Radiohead.  But I'm sure they're all very good and one day I'll 'get' them, like I have with other bands in the past.

(Meri note: I doubt it. As I have gotten older, I've been less patient with middle of the road stuff too. Someone call the Karma Police so we don't have to listen to recent Radiohead)

When was the last time you cried in RL?

You mean before I read this list of questions?  Maybe when Dalglish inspired Liverpool to beat Everton at Wembley in 2012, turning back the clock 25 years.  I usually get angry rather than cry when I'm upset, but 40,000 people singing 'You'll Never Walk Alone' has been known to set me off like a great big baby.

What are some of your pet peeves about SL? What makes you GRR?

Ohhhh the usual things.  When it doesn't bloody work, when I lag like crazy, when I crash mid-DJ set, inappropriately-timed region restarts etc (Meri note: Please see conversation below for more information).

Also, people who use their profiles as some kind of cack-handed attempt at misdirection re: their true selves. E.g...
"I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, but you don't want me as an enemy.  You mess with my family and it's ME you'll answer to!"  (rl: a 4ft woman)
"I'm a 21 year old bi female English student. Not looking for a relationship, just good sexy fun. No voice, no cam" (rl: 4ft man)
"If you want drama, take it elsewhere!! I don't DO drama!!" (rl: 'does' drama on a daily basis) etc etc.

And men's mesh trousers. (btw why can't you buy jogging pants where one leg isn't rolled up to the knee like a Freemason at the gym?)

(Meri note: I don't know E, it's something I have puzzled over myself - the jogging pants! I can't quite believe I'm going to post an Erasure video now, but I surely am.)

If you could choose between being very handsome or very intelligent, which would you choose?

I'd hate to lose either one of these traits, as both go a long way to make Iain Lordhunter the legend that he is.  [I do get final edit on this, right?].  If I have to choose....I do think life is probably a lot easier for the handsomely vacant amongst us, and I don't tend to do things the easy way, so: I'll choose very intelligent (and hide behind dark glasses).

(Meri note: Hahaha, good choice Iain, do watch this vid, it's hilarious... "I thought Europe was a country!")

Do you touch wood, avoid crossing knives, greet magpies and walk around ladders?

Joke answer:  I've been known to touch magpies, cross ladders and greet wood, which is probably why people walk (a very long way) around me.  In truth, I DO walk around ladders, but mainly to avoid whoever is up them from dropping anything on my head.

Iain, thank you so much for taking the time to answer these questions, you've been an exemplary interviewee. For those thirsty for more, read on to see the chat we had after the questions...

Mericat Ireland: One day, when we have time, I'll tell you a funny story about Roger Moore
Iain Lordhunter: Hahaha ok
Iain Lordhunter: Also, hes English, and Bond should be English, but I stopped short of saying that
Mericat Ireland: Oh ye gods yes
Mericat Ireland: We don't need the Scots after us
Iain Lordhunter: Lmao. Exactly
Iain Lordhunter: Ohh and shits isnt a typo, obviously
Mericat Ireland: No I got that
Iain Lordhunter: Hmmm...  each time I re-read it, I want to change things
Iain Lordhunter: I'd drive you mad if you were my editor in rl
Mericat Ireland: Well you have an hour :)
Iain Lordhunter: haha
Mericat Ireland: Nah, cus once it goes to editor, that's it
Iain Lordhunter: I think inappopriately-timed region restarts should be inconveniently timed.....or do I just need to chill now and let it go
Mericat Ireland: Ok well, just bear in mind, I'm not beyond including this convo in the final intervew
Mericat Ireland: as I did with Becks
Iain Lordhunter: :O
Iain Lordhunter: Nononono, that's cheating
Iain Lordhunter: and against the ToS!
Mericat Ireland: So you don't want me to illustrate you as uptight and anal?
Mericat Ireland: but a chilled out cool guy?
Iain Lordhunter: Yeh, chilled and cool.  Airbrushed and paintshopped.
Mericat Ireland: Okies, so no more edits
Mericat Ireland: and I won't publish anything after this point, promise
Iain Lordhunter: Scratches chin
Mericat Ireland: Grins
Mericat Ireland: Ok just that scratches chin bit
Mericat Ireland: Deal?
Iain Lordhunter: Haha
Mericat Ireland: I know you're scared to speak now
Iain Lordhunter: Yeh. Not saying owt now all night

Iain Lordhunter - chilled and cool. Airbrushed and paintshopped ;)